Lately I've been reminded of something that occurs in just about any place space, public or not. Summer is coming to an end which means a couple things: brand new kinksters are making their way into play spaces as they get out from mom and dad's shadow, extra financial aid money is starting to burn a hole through the young kinksters' pockets, and they're making their way out into the dungeons and play parties completely bright eyed and bushy tailed in awe of the new environment.
They've shown up in their brand new sexy outfit and all eyes are on them, they feel great and they're ready to party! Unfortunately what these new kinksters aren't seeing (especially the cute submissive girls) is the feeding frenzy that starts as soon as they walk in the door. Anyone interested in finding one of those super cute submissive girls starts flocking towards them trying to be the most interesting person in the room in hopes of catching their own elusive barely 20-something subbie girl (aka: unicorn). Sure submissive could say the same thing about finding that super awesome dominant that is going to do everything they ever hoped for, but I'm not a submissive so I'm going to write from the side that I know and see.
I can't say that I haven't tried to be the most awesome thing in the room to catch my own unicorn at some point in my life, but it is a little disappointing that it has to happen.
The biggest disappointment is that if you don't get their attention and keep them by your side for the first x-amount of times that they show up, someone else will and you will remain in that seemingly never ending hunt. The brand new ones rarely ever check to make sure that the "Super Lord Uber Dom" or "Mistress of all Things Unholy" that has snatched up their attention actually know what the hell they're doing. Sure you could say that they could sit and watch what's going on and figure it out from there, but how are they going to know what is actually right or not with Mr. SuperDom telling them that he's the most awesome thing they'll ever see?
Basically everything comes down to this "Limited Time Offer" mentality. If you don't get that super cute subbie girl now, you're shit out of luck. Sadly I've seen this turn into girls going home with complete idiots way too many times, and they probably won't ever know the difference because once he's got her, they're never going anywhere that he might get shown up again. Yes, this really does happen.
So how do we fix this? Honestly I don't think we can. Without tooting my own horn too much, I know that I'm a fairly competent dominant and top but to a brand new person, I'm just another person that may or may not be trying to pick them up. This usually means the best thing I can do is try to steer the new submissives towards people that actually know what their doing, but even then, why would they listen to me over Mr. SuperDom? The only way to fix this is from their side.
That's right. All of you brand new submissives out there need to take charge of your life and safety for a bit and ASK QUESTIONS. Before you let Mr. (or Miss) SuperDom do something with/to you, find out who they are! Ask things like:
Run Away!!If they have anything to hide then you're better off with someone else. This lifestyle is all about communication and honesty. If you can't trust them to tell you simple things like what their experience or history are, then how can you trust them with a whip at your back?
Alright, I think my rant has gone long enough at this point. Kudos to you if you made it through the whole thing. Basically, let's stop everything from being a meat market/feeding frenzy environment every time a newbie walks through the door and make sure they get with people that aren't going to do them harm. Submissives, that last statement falls heavily on you too. Be responsible for your own well being and safety. There will be plenty of time to celebrate being a collared submissive/slave, but make sure it is with someone that deserves it, and it doesn't have to happen before the week is done.
Ignixia is an international kink and alternative sexuality educator. The following blog entries range from educational information and resources from her classes to daily musings had on things occurring in the world.